Today I would love to find out how you help your kids who wet the bed. I have mentioned before that I would like this blog to become a place where women and families can come to share and learn from one another. I would love for us to be able to share tips, tricks and activities with one another so that we can all benefit and improve our families lives by learning what has worked for others in similar situations.
Many of you are new followers and you might have missed some of our past parenting questions. Lots of you participated in and shared your thoughts and tips about the following parenting issues:
Today I would like to discuss an issue we are dealing with at the Idea Room household…Bed Wetting!
All of our children are now potty trained and have been diaper free for almost a whole year now! Wahoo! We were so excited to get out of diapers once and for all. But…we have one child who still has trouble staying dry overnight.
Now, I know that this is very common and happens to a lot of children. This child is a really deep sleeper and sleeps so soundly that he/she doesn’t wake up in time to make it to the bathroom. We try to limit his/her drinks after dinner time and make sure to have them go to the bathroom before bed. We have even tried waking them up before we go to bed and have them use the restroom again.
We never get angry at our child when it happens and just explain to them that there are a lot of kids who deal with this problem and that eventually they will outgrow it.
But, we still have a bed wetting problem. I know that eventually he/she will outgrow it. In the meantime, we grew tired of changing and washing sheets, that we had this child wear pull-ups to help prevent wet sheets and early morning bed making.
My question to you is have you dealt with this with any of your children? What have you done to help them through this? Did you use any techniques to help them overcome the bed-wetting?
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on this issue as I value your opinions and advice. I also think that there may be many others who can benefit from this discussion as well.
**I would also love to make this a regular ongoing series of various questions. If you are dealing with a particular issue and would like for it to be discussed in this forum I would love for you send me your questions via an email to {[email protected]}. If you will put “Discussion Topics” as the subject line, that will help me keep track of them.
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Angela says
I was tired of cleaning up wet messes in the morning too. With my daughter, I think it finally clicked. She would wear panties during the day & a pull up at nap time & bed time. We would limit drinks after dinner & make sure she went to the bathroom right before bed. One night she decided she wanted to wear panties to bed. She realized she didn't want to wear yucky pull ups any more. Yes, we still had some accidents but she did really good. I tried several times to potty train her but it wasn't until 3 1/2 years old that she finally got it. (she is a 1st child & very independent & I think that makes it more difficult to potty train.)
Amy, one of my good friends dealt with this same issue with her little guy for a couple of years . She tried everything & finally found a solution that worked. It was a product that she purchased that had an alarm & vibration that woke the child when it sensed wetness. I am going to see her this Wednesday. I will ask her the name of the product and let you know. She said that it was her saving grace.
My daughter is 7-years old and still wears pull-ups at night. And she has a rash "down there" that never goes away because of it. It's horrible. She hates it. I hate it. I have talked to the pediatrician and she said she'll grow out of it…I hope that happens soon.
I'm eager to read any suggestions or success stories on this topic.
I have heard fabulous things about the bed-wetting alarm! My son wore pull-up/overnights until he was 10. At that point, I drew a line in the sand – he was no longer allowed to be lazy and neither was I!
We limited drinks after dinner, he used the bathroom before he went to bed, we woke him before we went to bed, I set my alarm for 2 am and 4 am, and my hubby woke him up when he woke up for work. Most of those "wakings" we basically helped him sleep walk into the bathroom to do his thing. We always woke him and TOLD him, "You are waking up because you need to go potty. Now go in and go potty." Sometimes I think he fell back asleep in the bathroom, but I always waited for him to return to his bed before I went back to mine! In many ways it was just like having a newborn again, but after we broke him of this I wished I had done it sooner!
When I was younger I used to wet the bed, I hated it! It went on for years and years, always with the hope that I would one day grow out of it. Well, I don't remember what day it was that it finally stopped, but I do remember the advice I finally got that made a difference, I swore I would always share it, if only to save someone else from the embarrassment.
One time, when visiting with yet another urologist, the urologist said how many people got referred to him for that problem, yet he never understood why because the majority of the time, its a sleeping problem. So here is the life changing advice he gave me, which may or may not work for others. He told me to look at around what times I wet the bed, was it not long after I went to sleep, or was it right before I woke up in the morning.
Then he recommended that I set an alarm clock. For me, we set it for 2:30 in the morning, he said to force myself to getup right away, and not hit the snooze button. For me, I was an adult when I did this, which is why it might be harder for a younger child, especially because it may require a parent getting up with them. I don't remember how long I used the alarm clock, for a while, I got up at 2:30 every morning to go to the bathroom. I can tell you now though, I don't use an alarm clock anymore. I can fall asleep without wondering if I will make it through the night. I wet the bed for over 10 years, and its now been over 7 years since I have had a problem.
Also, if none of that doesn't seem to work, I did use a medication for awhile that was a nasal spray that worked like a charm. (I didn't have insurance anymore and was tired of always needing a spray that had to be refrigerated, so that was why I finally saw my last doctor).
So I don't know if it was just coincidence, and maybe I finally did grow out of it, but I know that patience and love will truly help. Good luck!
I think to have a regular q&a on your blog is a fantastic idea…. I will be staying around for this!!! I have 2 boys Finn 3.5yrs & Frazer 2yrs, I left training Finn till he was after 3yrs as I was in no rush, and the average for boys to actually be anywhere near succeeding is 3yrs also I'm a SAHM and Finn would not be starting nursery till later as he missed the cut off age by a couple of weeks. I when i did train him, he was dry day and night within the week no pull ups… I thought check me out… Yes famous last words were they!!! After about 4 months he was wetting the bed 3-4 days out of seven :( It turns out that his daddy working away was quite a change for Finn, thats what I feel the only change was, now daddy is still working away but, I limit the amount he drinks I have a special lamp leading him to the toilet during the night, I think he now knows that if a accident happens, there's a couple of days with blankets rather than a snuggly quilt and he prefers, as it has to be cleaned. I'm so glad I bought 2 quilted waterproof mattress tops as the bed would have been ruined…. I'm not sure how much my comment helps but it's good to share so that no-one feels alone in the struggles of rearing children!!!! :)
We lucked out that our oldest daughter figured out how to not wet the bed very quickly! I'm sure our son will be another story since he wakes up with his diaper SOAKED every morning.
My SIL's daughter had a really hard time getting over bed wetting and finally she took her to a chiropractor for the issue and it worked! Just a thought. Acupuncture or acupressure might work too. Maybe something outside the box. good luck.
I have four children, the eldest is now seven and a half and he wet his bed until last year. I'm in Australia so I'm not sure who you would see in the US, but I saw a GP (local doctor) who specialises in bedwetting. He said bed wetting is in most cases hereditary, and the brain needs to be trained to wake from the deep sleep to receive the signal that the child needs to go to the toilet. The first question he asked was which one [my husband or myself] was a bedwetter. It was my husband, not that it matters!
Under his guidance, we hired a 'magic mat' – an Enuresis Alarm mat, which the child sleeps on, and the moment they wet, the [very loud] alarm sounds. The idea is they need to wake and turn off the alarm, then go to the toilet. Eventually they wake to the alarm, then wake before the alarm and go to the toilet before wetting. In the morning we recorded what had happened through the night, and we spoke about the magic mat often during the day to keep the issue in the front of his thoughts. It took my son about three weeks before he started having dry nights, and he used the alarm for a total of about 5 weeks, as the doctor said he should have 12 dry nights in a row before we returned the mat. He has never wet his bed since.
We recently tried it with my five an a half year old, but he was so exhausted after three weeks that we decided to try again in about six months.
Apparently, you should never stop the child drinking after a certain time, it has nothing to do with bed wetting. They should be able to learn to either wake or hang on until morning. The last part of using the mat it getting your child to overload on fizzy drink and making sure they can have a dry night even with heaps of sugar and fluids taken in.
I hope this is helpful to someone! I felt such relief when I could explain to my sons that it was no-one's fault, and when there was a solution available, to be able to make use of it.
Don't offer anything but water to drink after 5 in the afternoon. Also try buying 2 or 3 waterproof mattress pad covers and make the bed with 2 or 3 sets of sheets, the top ones are a little tight to get on, but in the middle of the night you only have to strip off the wet ones and you are set to go.
Our older son had a rough time with bed wetting, because he's just such a deep sleeper. To this day(14) you could have a brass band march through his room and he'd sleep through it. Nowadays, I have to wake him up by dragging his covers off him and slapping the bottoms of his feet. Combine a small bladder with deep sleep and you have bed wetting.
I'll echo some of the thoughts already voiced. We eliminated sugary drinks past 5pm, just water after that. We woke him up in the middle of the night and had him go to the bathroom. Did I mention how deep of a sleeper he is? When we'd wake him up, he would sleep walk into the living room, we'd have to turn him around and tell him bathroom again. He'd sleepwalk into the bathroom and just kind of stand there scratching his butt. We'd have to reiterate the need to use the potty, he'd use the toilet and sleepwalk back to his room.
So how did it end? His body finally grew enough where his bladder was big enough to hold on for an entire night. It took several years because he was just so tiny. He was 10 before he was 65lbs.
Now our little one is another story. He was completely potty trained at 2 1/2 and has only wet his bed twice in the 4 yrs since.(both times were on vacation, and he was worn out.)
Know that you're not alone and that these things take time.
I have a 10 year old son that wets almost everynight. I realized the other night I have been using diapers on him for TEN YEARS! Ugh. I bought the alarm and have never used it…I know it is a waste but it causes him more anxiety to think of using it…I am also selfish, I've tried waking up in the middle of the night but he pees at random times still and personally I want a good night sleep so I can be a better mom. His pediatrician says he will grow out of it and I believe it…he just needs a bigger bladder and to be reminded there is nothing wrong with him.
Have you asked how often he goes #2? We are discovering in my 8 yo son he goes 3-4 days without a bowel movement and this is a cause for bed wetting!
We too have dealt with and still are dealing with this issue and have done all the things you think of limit drinks, pullups, going to the bathroom right before bed we even resorted to waking the child back up before we went to bed to go to the bathroom..and nothing really worked and it is simply they are deep sleepers and their bladder isn't quite big enough yet and there is really nothing we can do about that.
I figured the pull ups were making it worse, I was right. Once those were taken away they started using the bathroom at night. They felt like big kids not little guys anymore. Now do we still have accidents of course but it isn't an everyday occurence anymore. (I think I should add we covered their mattresses inthe plastic covers that keep allergens out so as not to have to deal with steam cleaning the mattresses.)
I concur with the recommendation for the One Step Ahead night training product. I used it for two of my children, who just could not wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The alarm goes off when it detects moisture- and in the beginning, my sound sleepers could even sleep right through the alarm! But the alarm would wake up my husband and I, who would rush into their rooms and wake up the sleeper and get them to use the potty. After several nights of this, the kids would wake up on their own from the alarm. And within a month or two, they were staying dry through the night.
My middle child is also a very deep sleeper and was not dry overnight, ever. Around age 6 we started seeing a chiropractor who worked with children. We went 3 times a week and two months into this routine, she woke up dry for the first time in her life. It's been 6 months now, we still see the chiropractor once a week (for the whole family) and she is still dry.
Having tried just about everything else, aside from medication, this was what worked for us and as a bonus.. has improved her overall health.
My daughter (4-1/2) is also a deep sleeping bed wetter. I had her in Pull-Ups for a long time but money got to be extremely tight and we just couldn't afford them anymore. So I went to babies r us and got the flannel waterproof pads (don't get the polyester they pill really bad) we use the poly pads under the sheets. She now sleeps on top of the pad in her underware and pjs. I keep an extra pad next to her bed along with a change of clothes. I restrict her drinks after dinner and take her to the bathroom 2-3 hours after she goes to sleep then once again before I go to bed. A few times she has been able to wake herself up and go to the bathroom! A first for her; she never did that in Pull-Ups. She is now dry at least half the time as apposed to wet all the time in Pull-Ups. We also keep a sticker chart for dry nights and reward her with a trip to the ice cream shop when she fills it up.
I was a bed-wetter for most of my childhood. My mom tried everything but nothing worked! (They didn't have Pull-Ups then. Only adult diapers that were horrible.) I slept through the alarms (my sister in the same room did not) and continued to wet the bed until I was almost 12. Then one day I woke up dry and have been dry ever since! I think the key is that I never felt embarrassed by the fact that I wet the bed – my family just dealt with it. It was simply a part of life! Just remember – "this too shall pass!"
We've dealt with this with my oldest son. We tried limiting drinks, didn't work. We tried underwear at night and making him clean his sheets, didn't work – he was such a sound sleeper and didn't know he was doing it that he'd wake up in the morning covered in pea. We he leaked through so many brands of diapers, the only kind that worked for us was the Good nights Underpants. We just realized his body wasn't ready and didn't make a big deal of it, figuring he'd out grow it and there was no sense in making him feel bad or punishing him. He stopped on his own around 7 years old. I don't know if this helps, but that is my story. Also, some kids have bladder problems. My mom informed me that I wet the bed and had to have corrective surgery to fix something that was too small around my bladder. So it could be medical. Good luck.
My son wet the bed until he was 7 and then he just stopped. His DR said his bladder was undersize compared to him – my son was big for his age- and that his bladder would catch up and all would be well. And he was right! We didn't overeact about it and my son never felt stigmatized over it. These things tend to work themselves out with patience and understanding. Of course, you should always get it checked out in case the bed wetting is stemming from something different.
My little boy has been having an issue with bed wetting. Since he has been potty trained for so long…I really didn't want to send him back with pull ups. First thing was I cut off liquids close to bedtime. Then, I make sure that he goes potty before he goes to bed. Then, before I go to bed {a few hours later}, I wake him up to take him to the bathroom. We have been doing this for about a month & he hasn't had any accidents.
I remember my little brother wetting the bed until he was 10 and my parents tried everything. They got one of those alarms and he was done wetting the bed in less than a week.
I wet the bed until I was 12. I did out grow it. I was a deep, deep sleeper. We used the alarm. I HATED IT! I would NEVER do that to a child. It made me feel ashamed.
Put a waterproof pad under the top sheet and layer it with a few layers of sheet/pads. When the child wets, just strip the top layer and let everyone go back to sleep. The child will outgrow it.
Good luck!
Thank you all for posting this topic…I'm glad we're not alone! We are going through this with our almost 8 year old son. I keep thinking about that alarm, but he shares a room with is VERY light-sleeper of a brother. Our ped. keeps saying that he'll grow out of it. So we'll just wait and see! Our son, too, is a crazy deep sleeper and a random wetter. We've woken him up and walked him to the bathroom all hours of the night. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. I liked the one post that said, "This, too, shall pass."
I was a bed wetter until I was in the 6th grade. My father wet the bed until he was in the 4th grade.
Two of my kiddos (ages 5 and 6) are still in Goodnights. I don't sweat it.
Alarms and such DID NOT work for me (and they didn't exist for my father)- we just grew out of it. The fortunate thing about today is that their ARE products like Goodnights and Depends so older kiddos don't wet their sheets every night.
Yup, it can b embarrassing as an older child to have this issue when it comes to sleepovers, but I learned to deal with it (because I had lovely friends). Also, I learned how to wash my sheets/shower at an earlier at because it was a necessity.
My advise is DON'T SWEAT IT. Just buy stock in Goodnights and time will eventually solve the issue- trust me- I know! :0)
So happy to know we're not alone!! We've been struggling for years with this issue with our oldest who is almost 10. He sleeps very deep and had a very small bladder so when he was younger, he couldn't hold it. Now, he has to learn to hold it. We've tried the alarm, but he doesn't wake up. We would get him up, but after months we were all sleep deprived and it didn't seem to get better.
My 4 yo is off and on with bed wetting. It is frustrating washing sheets. It doesn't happen often but we do wake him up before we go to bed and have him go to the bathroom. It happened last night. I hear it is common in boys. We try limiting liquids and the rest but I think it is just something his body needs to outgrow. I heard it happens when they go through a growth spurt because their bladder is often the last to develop. I don't know if that is true but I figure he should be fine by college right? ;-)
Funny, I actually talked to the pediatrician about this yesterday. Night time dryness is a result of the body producing a hormone that tells the body to stop producing so much pee at night. Not a lot you can do about it until that hormone kicks in. But talk to the ped it is not the childs fault.
3 out of 5 kids so far have been bed wetters. Let's just say it takes TIME! and lots of Pull-Up type products!!!
Just be patient and invest in a plastic sheet!
I just found your blog yesterday and I find it interesting that you are dealing with the same thing I am in my home! My 6 year old son still wears a diaper to bed. We tried pull ups but they are more expensive and not as absorbent as a diaper. We have tried all of the tricks; no drinks after dinner, rewards, etc. I finally have just decided that he will grow out of it or figure it out on his own. I do not make it an issue. I don't like power struggles. I don't force issues, especially potty training. He will do it when he is ready. He is responsible for taking his wet diaper to the diaper pail in the morning and reporting to me whether he stayed dry.
Although it is frustrating to me to still buy diapers for my six year old, I feel that it is also important that he be ready to do it on his own.
In short, you are not alone in your struggle! It's difficult when everyone has an opinion about what YOUR child should be doing. You are the parent and you know what's best.
We are going through this RIGHT NOW so this couldn't be more timely for me! My older son will be 6 in May and my younger son just turned 4. Both of them are wearing Pull-Ups/Goodnights. They both have tendancies toward laziness. I say this because they will both pee in their pull-ups before going to bed (sometimes) and/or when they wake up, instead of going to the potty. This frustrates me to no end and I get so upset when they do this!! This is something they DO have control over, so it is pure laziness. The nighttime part, I have been more lenient with, as I (and my brother) was a bed wetter until I was at least 10 or so. My husband has recently decided that our older son needs to stop wearing Goodnights and should be able to get up at night. Well, over the last week, I have started getting up at various intervals to take him to the potty. This morning, After he went twice before we went to bed, I waited 5 hours, and just as I was about to go wake him up at 4:30am, he walked into my room after having wet the bed. UGH! I just don't know what to do or if we should even push it. The ped. says he will outgrow it and there's no way to know if it's just that he sleeps too deeply or it's hereditary or what. Anyway, I appreciate any advice, as I am becoming one very tired mommy, and I don't even have a baby! Thanks!
We just took our 7 year old to the doctor because of this. He gave us a prescription for tofranel (sp?) and it worked, but it was such a struggle for her to swallow it or have it crushed up, and she seemed so tired because of it I decided to back off. I guess it will pass when it passes. We do the whole go to the bathroom before bed, but that only ensures she won't overflow her pull up, it never keeps her dry.
I think it is very good to talk about this subject. My nephew who is 9 has had this problem since being potty trained. my sister has tried everything from not giving him anything to drink before bed to the alarm mat.the only thing that seems to work is waking him up around 12 to go to the bathroom.
I think the solution can be one of two things – lighter sleeping, or the capacity to "hold it" all night.
When my husband was a kid, this was the pediatrician's advice that finally "cured" him of bed wetting:
During the day, pee in a mason jar and measure the level of pee. Try to beat your record each time. This little game increased his ability to "hold it" through the night.
It sounds kinda gross to me, and probably wouldn't work very well for a girl, but I can imagine the appeal for a school-age boy. It's like a science experiment!
My oldest is almost 8 and has to wear pullups every night. My husband was a bed wetter until he was 12 and his brother was even older. My husband's mom used to get so mad at him for wetting the bed and my husband has some not so good memories from it so I swore I would never get made at him. I only get mad when he forgets to throw them away and my dumb dog rips them apart (luckily that's only happened twice).
I've thought about the alarm but have a really hard time spending that much. I just continue to love my son and encourage him. We've talked about how wearing pullups doesn't mean he's a baby and we don't ever get mad. I have hope that one day he will just grow out of it.
Thanks for discussing this topic and making all of us not feel so alone in this struggle.
My daughter, who is now 6, still wets the bed at night. I don't like the idea of using an alarm because she shares a room with my 2 year old. I certainly don't need 2 children awake at night.
She does not like to wear pull-ups.
I have found that she does better if we only let her drink water at dinner time, and then we have her go potty 2-3 times before bed (which is around 8 pm), and then we take her to the bathroom again before 11. We have found that she usually wets the bed between 11 and midnight.
This works most of the time, but I am curious to see what others have done.
She is an incredibly deep sleeper, and I'm sure she'll eventually outgrow it, but I definitely want to help in any way possible.
My sister wet the bed for as long as I can remember. They discovered it was because she had a recurring bladder infection.
My son is almost 5. He went about a year with very few nighttime accidents. We moved and they started again. He can go a week or so without an accident, but then it seems like the next week there's more wet nights than dry. I asked doctor about it and he said as kids develop, their kidneys get to the point that they stop producing as much urine at night, so it makes it easier to hold it. My son is a VERY deep sleeper and doesn't even wake up when he's wet. We're sick of pull-ups (the cost) and just ordered some super thick washable training pants. Hopefully it will help at least with not changing sheets as much. Good luck with yours!
My son will be 8 in just a couple of months and still wets the bed a couple of nights a week. When he was 6 1/2, our pediatrician loaned us a bet wetting alarm. She normally didn't recommend them before the age of 7, but my son really wanted to try it. He is such a sound sleeper, that it took two months of using it before he finally woke up from the alarm. Prior to that, I would come rushing to get him from my bedroom. Anyway, we gave it 4 or 5 months and it didn't work. Our pediatrician recommended stopping and trying another time. We did so when he was 7+. We used it for about a month and still no luck. At that point, the alarm died and we've been without it.
When we aren't using the alarm, we are using pull ups. We also have a urine proof, dust mite encasing on his bed so the mattress doesn't get ruined.
At this point, he is tired of the pull ups and asked us to wake him up before we go to bed so he can wear underwear. Some days, he gets us with no problem and others he sleep walks. Those days we have to direct him to the bathroom otherwise he'll just wander aimlessly. One night he was so out of it he just giggled like crazy. The sleep walking days he doesn't remember going to the bathroom. The other times he does. So far this has worked well for us. We get him up around 10:30 or 11:00 pm to go potty and the rest of the night he stays dry.
My son wet the bed almost nightly until he was 13. We had tried all the usual, witholding drinks, getting him up to go, rewards and punishment. We finally participated in a bed wetting study and were given an alarm to use. I sewed little pouches on all his underwear and a velcro strip on the shoulder of several t-shirts. The sensor went in pouch on his underwear and the alarm attached to his shoulder, near his ear. It was amazing. At the first drop of moisture, the alarm would sound and he would get up and use the toilet. After about 6 months we no longer needed the alarm and he no longer wet the bed.
My oldest is 5 and a super deep sleeper like others have mentioned. We tried waking him up in the middle of the night because he was interested in wearing underwear instead of pullups, but it didn't help. He chose to go back to pullups. The main thing is don't embarrass them, it's just a part of growing up. The one thing I do is to double make the bed in case his pullup (or his younger brother's diapers) leak, so I'm not making the bed in the middle of the night. So, I put the waterproof mattress pad, sheet, waterproof mattress pad, sheet when I make the bed initially and only have to pull off the top sheet and pad to go back to bed :)
-Stefanie
2ndChanceCreations.etsy.com
It's good to know that I'm not the only that has dealt with this problem. My son wet the bed so much that I had to resort to pullups as well, it runs in the family, my husband's side. :( Well, I grew tired of buying pull ups that I told my son that he can no longer wear them b/c he was going to be 7 soon. I think that got through to him. I didn't treat him like a baby but a big boy. At 7pm he is not allowed to eat or drink, that is an hour before bedtime. I have him go potty at 7 and just before he crawls into bed. For the last few months he has done really well. Of course there are few accidents but other than that he gets it. Oh I always keep a water proof mattress cover so that the mattress doesn't get ruined. I learned that the hard way.
My son will be 8 in May & he still wets the bed several times a week (sometimes twice a night!) His younger brother & sister (ages 5 & 4) wake up dry every night. It was a hard decision but he is wearing UnderJams. I had a difficult time graduating his younger siblings out of them because I was worried of hurting his feelings & making him feel like a baby. We tried the things you mentioned – cutting off liquids, waking to pee before we went to bed – we even went to the doctor & got some pills that are a synthetic hormone that tell his kidneys to shut down at night – I bought a sheet cover from the Bed Wetting Store (.com) but even that just wasn't working out.
I finally just explained to him that some people wear glasses because their eyes don't work perfectly & the glasses help them. It doesn't make them any less of a big kid – just a tool they need to help them. That's how the UnderJams are – it's not because you're a baby, it's not a diaper, it's because your brain isn't telling your kidneys to go to sleep when YOU go to sleep so they just keep making pee all night long. So the UnderJam is a tool to help you – not to make you feel like baby.
Every now & then we try going without them but it just always ends with a wet bed. According to his Dr they start to make that hormone somewhere between ages 2-9… looks like we're just on the far end of that range.
My daughter is 6 and still wets the bed, but her self esteem was not holding up against making her wear pullups to bed each night.
This is what we do and it works perfectly.
I make her go potty before bed. Then around 11pm or midnight when I go to bed I carry her into the potty and set her down and make her pee again. Usually she's sound asleep but will still go.
Then I put her back in bed.
No more bed wetting.
We had this issue with our oldest boy. We bought a Malem bedwetting alarm that had lights, vibrated and had 8 different tones. We used that with the dry bed method (you can google it and see what it entails). We had a week of nights being woken up, but have been dry ever since. It was so worth the time and effort. We also bought the alarm on eBay and then sold it again after we were done. So basically it cost us very little. We had tried everything else and now don't even have to watch what he drinks before bed. It has been wonderful! Hope this helps!
I think the only thing you can do is limit drinks before bed and give it time. We have a mattress that is waterproof on one side and it's been a life saver. I hear these are really good to and much less than buying dispoasable pull ups http://www.superundies.com/trainingpants.html
I've already left a comment before, but should have mentioned that when we used the alarm, our son shared the room with 2 other children. I don't remember anyone else waking to the alarm and if they did, they went right back to sleep. It is so worth whatever sleep you lose for that time period, just for your child's own self-confidence. I highly recommend it, especially after 2 years of dry nights.
I have a child who has this problem and he is 7. I figured I wasn't the only one, but sometimes posts like this makes you feel better, confirms that you're not alone. It is frustrating, and we've tried all those things. To no avail, it is still a problem. The only thing I haven't tried yet is an alarm. Maybe I will go out and buy one today.
We deal with this with our 4 year old who has been potty trained for 2 years. Her pediatrician said that the majority of 3 year olds don't stay dry at night and that they percentage becomes less and less as they get older. We tried taking her when we went to bed, or even later so she would stay dry in panties and even then we would sometimes be cleaning up wet sheets in the morning. So, after talking to her pediatrician, we just went to pull-ups at night. We limit her liquids before bed and make sure she goes potty before bed. Even still, she sometimes pees so much that it soaks through her pull-up. It's very frustrating, but we always deal with it calmly. In some reading I did it talked about how night time dryness is a completely different milestone (if you want to call it that) than daytime dryness.
My daughter is 5 1/2 and still in pullups at night. My husband & I were both bed wetters so I have decided it's cheaper to buy them when they are on sale then changing the bed every night. My problem was I was such a sound sleeper & I am pretty sure she is the same way. I outgrew it when I was around 6 years old.
I think it's different for each one. My oldest was potty-trained but continued to wet the bed for almost another 4 years. We tried a lot of things and nothing seemed to work. It was really frustrating. (We had two in nighttime pull-ups and a baby in diapers, imagine how much we were spending on these each week!) After my husband snapped at him one morning, my son started to cry, "I'm trying. I want to be dry but my body makes me pee when I'm sleeping." That was a turning point for us, we were much more patient knowing that he wanted to stay dry just as much as we wanted him to be. We got rid of the pull-ups and came up with a plan together. He picked out a fun ringtone on my husbands phone and then we set 4 alarms on the phone. We showed him how to turn off the alarm. Then he practiced 4 or 5 times one afternoon, going through the motions. The first week we would wake up with him and make sure he got up (he's a deep sleeper). If he had an accident, He had to clean it up. After a few days, he was waking up on his own. When he started having dry nights (about 2 wks in), we started recording how many nights he was staying dry in a row and tapered off using the alarm. When, he had two consecutive weeks of dry nights. He got to pick out new underwear, his choice– "grown-up" boxers. He hasn't had a problem since. I think it was a combination of him finally being ready (both physically and emotionally) and training his body. Added bonus, his younger brother stopped wetting the bed in the process as well!
We dealt with this problem too. We had tried limiting drinks, waking him up and pull ups. Our doctor suggested an alarm. I checked out the reviews on Amazon.com. I could relate to so many of the reviews. It was the best purchase I've ever made.
There's a great thing called a "Nytone" bed wetting alarm. Kind of pricy, (we split the cost with someone else who needed it – or sell it on ebay when you're through with it :),but worth it. There's a little clip that goes in the underwear and when it gets wet an alarm goes off – then their bodies recognize that feeling. It didn't take long with my son!
My daughter is only 19 months old (tomorrow) and regularly uses the potty. A friend shared with me some resources on EC or elimination communication, and it's working fabulously. My biggest problem is that my nanny seems to think that Madison will be trained when she can "ask" to go to the potty. I disagree. We offer – she goes – we're happy. Until she's ready and has the physical and developmental ability to not have accidents, I think what we're doing is great. What can I tell the nanny?
newest follower here! Love the family style blog!
Wow! Looks like lots of people have had this problem. As you said it is absolutely not anything they mean to do or want to do.
Our oldest had the same problem of sleeping to heavily. After researching and trying many things we spoke to our pediatrician and his best recommendation was to use an alarm that would not hurt him but wake him up from his deep sleep. We chose the Malem Ultimate with lights, sounds, and vibrations and purchased it from the this link http://www.bedwettingstore.com/Bedwetting_Alarms/malem_ultimate_bedwetting_alarm.htm?color=royal
Instructions came with it recommending that we have him sleep in the same room as us the first few nights and that really makes you realize just how deep they are sleeping as they might not wake-up enough to get to the bathroom without your help. After a few nights they start to catch on. I think it only took a couple of weeks, maybe a month for absolute certainty and our 7-year-old finally had the confidence to spend the night with friends. We purchased ours new but I did see them listed on ebay for a much lower price and you can purchase a new cord separately. Good luck!
You should give it some time. We waited until my daughter was eight and still wetting the bed. We used the SleepDry Alarm. I felt really mean at the time. Now I wish we had done it when she was five. It took only three nights and she only wet the bed once after that! It is fabulous, I highly recommend it.
Wow, so much has been said, I need to read all of this, because it is a huge problem at our home!!! Very deep sleepers. We tried everything to waking them up every two hours for two weeks straight and found that we were being trained, not them. We have pull ups on 2 kids that have been potty trained for a while and we are so tired of it! My oldest used the buzzer (wet stop3) and it worked really well, but not so much on #2. Ready to try something new.
The first thing to keep in mind is, medically speaking, night time wetting is not considered abnormal until after the age of 8 especially for boys.
We've struggle with this with my oldest. We were referred to urology for an eval to make sure there was nothing structural. We found out 2 issues. #1 he was really really constipated and, especially in boys, this can desensitize the nerves that let them know they need to go or that they went so we have aggressively treated that which has helped immensely. #2 He doesn't like to take the time to go to the bathroom any more that necessary because it takes time time away from the fun stuff. So his bladder was getting stretched out, losing tone, and therefore didn't send the signals back to his brain the right way. So we bought him a watch from the bedwettingstore.com with a vibrating alarm that we set to go off every two hours. He then had to go to the bathroom and try and go. After a few months of this we saw a huge improvement as well.
My son 6.5 has had this problem. I took him to the doctor a while ago and she asked me how his bowl movements were. I never thought of that. But if you don't poop frequently enough it can have an effect on your bladder. Since then I've been charting when he poops, usually once every 3-4 days and when he wakes up wet. I found that he starts wetting the bed after a couple days of not pooping. So I'm upping the fiber and trying some other foods to get that moving I'll see if that helps his bed wetting.
We had to the same issue at our home with our son. He wore underwear during the day and a pull up at night. We limited the drinks before bed and took him to the potty before we went to bed for the night. He eventually just grew out of it. He wore pull ups for almost a whole year though before he stopped wetting the bed at night. But we were fine with it, because I didn't want him to feel like he was doing anything wrong or was at fault. We would reward him with special prizes if he went 2-3 days without an accident.
Our 8 yr old wets the bed every single night. We've tried everything. The only thing that has worked is adjustments by a chiropractor. Our uncle adjusts him because when the sacral nerves get pinched it affects the ability for full-bladder sensations to make it to the brain and wake up the child. Unfortunately we don't live near our Uncle and my son is only dry when he gets adjusted. Lots of Pull-Ups, lots of waterproof pads, and put a folded towel on top of the sheets so you only have to change the towel. He is VERY self-conscious of it so we try to be as casual as we can about it. None of us will miss it when he outgrows this.
I peed the bed nightly til I was at least 10. Parents tried everything. I would wake up to the sensor-in-panty alarm.
Amy,
We struggled with this issue for years with one of my children and the alarm worked but not in the intended way. It cured him but I think it was more psychological.
This post was scheduled for later this month, but I moved it up in case it can help other families. http://blossombunkhouse.com/2011/03/02/our-bed-wetting-solution/
We had a daughter who wet the bed… she was mad when her baby sister didn't have to wear pull ups to bed and she did, so we came up with a plan. We took her potty before bed at 7 pm then when my husband and I went to bed around 11 we just took her again. She was basically sleeping on the toilet but she would go and that was enough to make it through the night.
My six year old son was the same way. We tried all the things you mentioned. My pediatrician suggested a bed-wetting alarm. I ordered it from http://www.bedwettingstore.com. It was wonderful. Within 2 weeks my son was wearing underear to bed and staying dry all night or getting up to go to the bathroom. The alarm helped retrain his night time behavior. He is a hard sleeper, so this helped him wake up enough to get to the bathroom on time. That was back in August and he hasn't had a single accident. Good luck!
I too have a 10 year old boy who has never been dry at night. He wears pull ups every night. I've tried the alarm…it only woke me up. I've tried waking him every couple of hours…it ends in a half awake child in tears. I've tried medication…nothing. I've tried visiting a chiropractor…didn't help. I'm tired of hearing, "He'll out grow it." I'm so frustrated that more research isn't done on this. I try to be supportive but it breaks my heart when he can't sleep over at a friend's home because he's too embarrassed.
Thank you for bringing light to this topic. As you can see many parents deal with it. I'm hoping to find some solutions within your readers comments. Thanks again!!
Wow! It is nice to know that there are so many others who are struggling with this same issue. Thank you everyone for your comments, advice and suggestions! It has been so helpful. I love how supportive everyone of my readers are. I love when moms can come together and share. This really has helped me and I am sure has helped many other moms and sweet kids who are struggling with this issue! My readers are truly awesome!!
One thing we did was use pull-ups at night OVER underwear. That way, the pull up kept the bedding dry, but having the underwear underneath helped them to feel the wetness if they peed during the night. It was an easier way to try and transition.
We also have done a lot of positive comments during the day when potty training. Things like 'since you are three, you are a big girl' and other times 'big girls use the potty instead of diapers'. Saying the two separately still allowed them to connect the ideas and have success with 'I'm a big girl because I'm three and I use the potty now'. Sounds weird, maybe, but it totally worked.
Funny thing, my daughter who is nine has been dry for two weeks now. She had been wearing goodnights every night. I noticed that she seemed to be having more dry nights and we were out of goodnights. She stayed dry that night. We had a talk about it and decided to pray for help. It has been amazing. We just talk about it before she goes to bed so it is on her mind. We are so excited at our house.
I've not actually had a child with bed wetting problems yet, but when I potty trained my daughter I used the "3daypottytraining.com" method and LOVED it. Laura Jensen, author of this e-book also has a book out for bed wetters. You may check it out at the above website!
You might wanna get that checked just to make sure. I was a bed wetter, too… and then eventually after seeing several doctors it was discovered that i had a third kidney… and it didn't function properly and caused a lot of problems. (I was 10 when it got removed). I've met two other people with that same thing i had… so it's not so unusual. I had heard that 1 in 300 have something like that. so there ya go.
I was an occasional bed wetter until I was about 7 years old. I knew I had to go, but would dream I was getting up, then be shocked when I woke up wet…my grandmother taught me to make sure I was awake by checking to see if everything was normal or if anything seemed out of place. That seemed to do the trick, if it looked funny then I knew I had to try harder to wake up…being able to tell when I was really awake or still dreaming also helped with nightmares…
at my oldest son's 8year check up, i asked my pediatrician what to do about his bedwetting. her advice was to wake him up at midnight every night for two weeks and have him go to the restroom. i'd already been limiting his drinks past a certain time and making him go to the bathroom before bed so we added her recommendation to the routine. on the third night, i fell asleep and didn't wake up until 12:30am……he had already peed in the bed. i made sure to set my cell phone alarm after that. the two weeks went by fast, and i'm proud to say that he has been dry every night since (knock on wood). that was nine months ago.
I have not read all the other comments, so this may be a repeat… but…
My first child was night trained before she was day trained, and it was awesome. My second has been a struggle. He is 6 and still wears pullups, the laundry was too much for us. He did not wake up when he got wet, as other people said he eventually would. We have tried waking him up at night, and that involved entirely too much screaming and crying when there are other people living in the house. It is hereditary, and we do have some family history. Our pediatrician said they usually outgrow it at the age the bedwetting parent outgrew it. I am just glad they have Pullups these days. Our pediatrician also said to avoid the alarm for a few more years, but hopefully he will outgrow it by then. :)
I went cold-turkey with pull-ups for my older two (ages 4 and 5 at the time) last year and changed the sheets almost every night for 5 weeks before accepting that they just aren't ready. My oldest is a very heavy sleeper and doesn't wake up even if she wets the bed. So I don't have a good solution. The pediatrician just nods every time I tell him and says it will happen someday–in the meantime, I'm due with number 4 in a few months and it will kill me to buy 4 sets of diapers/pull-ups!
You might want to check out the Pediacast podcast. I know that Dr. Mike has covered bedwetting in the past and weighed in on the alarm systems and some other solutions.
One of my sons was a bed wetter until he was almost a teenager! We tried EVERYTHING. Pull ups, setting an alarm, a little potty alarm that would go off when he was wet. We had this one: http://www.bedwettingstore.com/Bedwetting_Alarms/malem_ultimate_bedwetting_alarm.htm. It worked okay and woke everyone up but he was already wet and didn't help stop the problem.
He just couldn't help it. We consulted our pediatrician and the internet that said some kids just bed wet until they grow out of it.
It was especially bad and frequent if he was having asthma problems, too tired, or had a soda at dinnertime.
We finally just gave up and I would make sure the washer was empty before I went to bed at night so he could take all of his dirty bedding and clothes and shove them in there himself without having to tell anyone. Then I would turn it on when I was doing chores during the day. We stopped talking about it since he was so old and felt bad about it and would just remind him to put clean sheets on his bed.
Around 12.5 it just stopped. I was a bed wetter until I was around the same age and I couldn't help it and would feel so bad about it. I think some people just don't develop bladder control during the night until they are older. My son is also a really deep sleeper which I think contributes to the problem.
3 out of my 4 kids were bed wetters. I am a firm believer in an alarm. I bought a Roger wireless from the bedwetting store dot com and it was awesome! Restricting fluids before bed is only a little helpful. I don't believe in that. Anyway, I don't too much time to read through over 70 comments but I just wanted to say that this has worked for me and my sisters kids and friends. I wish I would have tried it when my oldest was 6 instead of 9!
Oh I need to read all these…my soon to be 6-year old daughter is the world's soundest sleeper and still wets the bed at least 3 times a week!
I have had 2 children who were bed-wetters. One was almost 7 by the time we solved it but the other was 9! Yikes. We used a bed wetting alarm on #1, (thebedwettingstore.com) recommended by our pediatrician. It was tough but after only 6 weeks, we were dry. #2 took a little longer, absolutely HATING the alarm. I didn't want to upset the child too much but would try it periodically for awhile. After NOT using it for a long time, she had figured it out on her own! simply amazing. It was the difference between night and day, it happened just like that! Of course, we gave her some motivation–she could have a friend over night (a first time thing for her). She's only had 1 accident in about 4 months now and we are all releived!
Hey Nicole- My email address is [email protected] so that you can contact me directly. Thanks again!!
Bedwetting alarms works amazingly….I have one with the original packaging that I am willing to send you for free! We hardly had to use it because it worked immediately!
Hello Nicole!! I am currently having the bed-wetting issue with my daughter who is now 7 1/2 years old! I was a bed-wetter, so way my mother and my grandfather so it definitely is hereditary. My pediatrician suggesting that I could try and bed-wetting alarm so if your offer stills stands (or even if you did want $$ for it) I would love to take you up on it!!! Please contact me via email so that we can discuss this with further details! Thank you for being such a giving and unselfish person that you are willing to help someone else out with your generousity!!
Nicole
Our 10 year old has a major wetting problem. We have taken him to specialist and it turns out he has a problem with the muscles in his bladder. One thing that we have found that really helps is a watch. It vibrates every two hours, even at night. He wears it all the time to help re-train the muscles. We have seen a huge improvement. Since you only deal with this at night may an alarm clock that goes off half way through the night would help. Good luck! I am so thankful to know that there is such a huge group of us going through this. It feels like a little support group. I'm looking forward to reading through the rest of the comments for other helpful ideas and thoughts.
I know this post was from a while back but I’m just going around finding all these amazing blogs. After having my son a year ago I had some major problems with my back and have been seeing a chiropractor. I can’t find it now but there was a post on his page from a lady who wrote in. Her son had bed wetting problems and had since he was little (he was a teen when she wrote in). She heard from someone that it can be something to do with the back. She took her son into Dr. Opdahls office and after a few adjustments her son stopped wetting the bed and never had a problem again.
I understand that bed wetting happens occasionally while in the training process, but when it’s a constant problem it could be that there is a nerve or something else pinched that is preventing their bladder and brain from communicating properly.
Your child may have an allergy that is irritating his bladder. I was a bedwetter until I was at least 14. My folks tried the alarm and like a previous poster said, by the time the alarm went off I was already wet and the damn thing scared me to death. I still hate alarms. At 6 my son likewise had a bedwetting problem so I started investigating other options because I refused to use an alarm.
My son was allergic to milk when he was a baby but as he got older he was able to tolerate it so he drank it. As an experiment I decided to take him off milk and when we did he stopped wetting the bed immediately! After a while we discovered if he had a small amount of milk, like on his cereal, he did not wet, but if he had milk twice in a day, say on his cereal and pizza for dinner, he would be wet in the morning. It was so predictable there was no question what caused his bedwetting!
Growing up we were huge milk drinkers, so looking back, a milk allergy was probably my problem as well.
My son is 13 and still wets the bed. I tried everything. He is a deep sleeper as well. I found if he doesn’t drink after 6pm and goes to bed on time. He stays dry but most of the time he sneaks behind my back and drinks out of the bathroom sink. Wakes up soaked from head to toe. So I can tell if he sneaked again if he is soaking wet. I don’t bother much anymore since he is old enough to want to stop until one day he decided to stop sneaking behind my back and is now waking up dry. But that is only half of the time since he isn’t too committed to it. He has stated to me that he doesn’t want to get out of bed since the bathroom is too far for him (it is next door to his room) so he would purposely pee the bed.
His 9 yr old brother is committed to quit and stops drinks after 6 and has not peed the bed for months now. His sister is the same way and she is 5 and is working on it as well and getting there. So they both are doing well in that area. It has to do with going to bed on time too.
My son is 13 and still wets the bed. I tried everything. He is a deep sleeper as well. I found if he doesn’t drink after 6pm and goes to bed on time. He stays dry but most of the time he sneaks behind my back and drinks out of the bathroom sink. Wakes up soaked from head to toe. So I can tell if he sneaked again if he is soaking wet. I don’t bother much anymore since he is old enough to want to stop until one day he decided to stop sneaking behind my back and is now waking up dry. But that is only half of the time since he isn’t too committed to it. He has stated to me that he doesn’t want to get out of bed since the bathroom is too far for him (it is next door to his room) so he would purposely pee the bed. His 9 yr old brother is committed to quit and stops drinks after 6 and has not peed the bed for months now. His sister is the same way and she is 5 and is working on it as well and getting there. So they both are doing well in that area. It has to do with going to bed on time too.
TRY THIS ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A DEEP SLEEPER:
Most likely you have a sleep issue, and the bed wetting is only a symptom of an incorrect sleep pattern!
Our son had wet the bed, EVERY night for 5 years after being potty trained. We had seen sleep doctors, enuresis doctors, tried alarms without waking our son for 3 years straight, sought after family doctors, etc… none were as effective as the following steps.
1. DO NOT limit liquids, as you are potty training, you need liquid to make the training more effective. You want them to get used to the feelings of a full bladder, and associate that with waking up and going to the bathroom. You may note that limiting liquids may not even seem to affect the amount of urine output anyway…
2. Use a good bed wetting alarm. When it goes off get the child out of bed, have them splash, with cold water, into their face until they are fully awake. The key is to get them fully awake!!!
3. Have them go to the bathroom when they are awake, even if they don’t need to. If you do not awaken the person you are training you will be effectively training them to go to the bathroom in their sleep. YOU DO NOT WANT THIS!!! You are training them on the cognitive level, sub-conscious level, as well as other levels, so get them awake.
4. Have them then help clean up and reset for the next possible accident.
5. This training may take as little as 3 weeks but as many as 12 weeks. There have been some who have needed more.
6. Give POSITIVE reinforcement! Be positive about the process, and the equipment you are using to help the person. You may even want to refer to the alarm as a Little Helper. Perception to the entire process can also lead to failure versus success. BE POSITIVE, and give constant positive praise, and encouragement, constantly through the process, even if it is only because they got up and splashed water and went potty.
BTW, our son was fully trained in about 5 weeks, and we couldn’t be prouder! What a relief for us, and what a confidence boost for our son.
If this is truly a sleep issue, letting them try to ‘grow out of it’ may not actually fix the real root of the problem, and cause greater problems down the road.
If these suggestions don’t work, then you may try to find more information with some enuresis professionals at Pacific International LTD, who have been helping people of all ages for over 60 years now.
We have twins who are now almost 5. One little guy did great and is completely potty trained the other little guy, well, we stop giving him more than an oz. of water if he asks at suppertime. And he must pee before bedtime. My brother wet the bed until he was 10 years old and I’m quite certain my little guy could be the same way if we put too much liquid into his little body before he nods off to sleep. He is a very sound sleeper this is likely why, because he just enjoys the sleep and doesn’t want to interrupt his zzzz’s with having to pee.
Well, I have a 10. 6 and 3 year old. Guess what–1 sleeps through the night in panties–the 3 year old. My two other never have been big drinkers and that definitely makes them have a small bladder. My 10 old is on medicine because she started getting so embarrassed. My 6 year old has other problems. He wets at night but he also can not feel when he needs to poop so he has to wear a pullup to school–I have to go to school and check him in the middle of the day. This is do to him having encopresis for over a year–stretched out his intestines. We are in the middle of trying to clean him out but it has been over 6 months–waiitng for our appointment with a specialist in March. I suspect he will be hospitalized to clean him out. So really I have no wisdom but just hang in there!
This is all well and good advise, but many alarms have issues. The bedwettingstore sells really old outdated alarms. Also their customer support isnt supposed to be the best.
Try purchasing bedwetting alarms at more reliable places like drugstore.com or Best Buy or some other local store.
I do know that the Chummie bedwetting alarm, available at chummie(.com) is covered by most health care plans and is FSA eligible.
They have the highest success rate and a very novel sensor.
Good luck to everyone.
We had 2 bedwetters who now have both stopped. There is a history of bedwetting on both sides of the family. As the kids grew older we consulted with the doctors and were told that they would most likely continue wetting as long as those in our families had. We did try alarms which worked but the wetting would return. Finally after a long period of trying everything we returned to the diaper for bedtime. After a long talk with the kids they agreed that they would rather sleep through the night and wake dry using whatever it took. In each case the diaper was worn to bed intil around age 10 – 11. They did get a goodnights sleep which we felt was beneficial to them and help them do better in school and at sports and all other activities. The bedtime diapers were kept hush hush and went on just as they were getting into bed. I think it saved a lot of feelings theirs and ours.
I have discovered my 8 yo son goes 3-4 days without a bowel movement and therefore might be the culprit to his consistent bed wetting. Just a thought for you all.
My son has struggled with potty training since a negative experience with a daycare provider at the age of 3. He is now 5 and he maintains dry during the day but still holds in his poop. We then ended up going to the ER because he was so constipated and hmnow he takes Miralax every day which helps his poop be softer and by assuring that he poops every day he is now having the dry nights more often. He is learning that the two of them connect. I would say this has been a life saver and the Nytone bed wetting alarm. One note on the alarm is it has to be on the outside of the underwear or it gets to wet if they we enough and do not wake up and then it does not dry well enough to use a second time. I learned this the hard way. Lol. We also started doing a sticker on th calendar every day he pooped and a separate sticker for dry nights for him to see that these two things related. He does still have accidents but he gets up to go pee on his own and holds his pee longer which are huge improvements. When he had dry nights we praise him and reward him like crazy! Sleep can be rough for the first month or so for the parents but seeing their body learn what to do and them stopping pee when they hear the alarm and going to the bathroom and growing confidence in the end is so worth it!! Stay strong all!
Great tips. Thanks for sharing!