It’s time once again for Heather Johnson from Family Volley to share with us some Parenting Tips as part of her “Parenting Tips” here on The Idea Room. Here’s Heather in her own words and sharing how parents should support kids and their interests.
for our families. We want everyone to get along, visits to be pleasant, and
days filled with holiday cheer.
for adults, and really stressful for kids.
that they don’t know how to handle it. So they manifest their frustration in
temper tantrums and meltdowns. These meltdowns are sure to put a damper on our
Thanksgiving and Christmas plans.
tantrums and make this holiday season much more pleasant for all of us.
portray the perfect family celebrations. But, when the holidays don’t always go
as planned we can get stressed and upset and loose patience with our kids. It
is unrealistic to think that just because it is Thanksgiving or Christmas that
our children are going to be perfect angels. It is still real life and we need
to be flexible and keep a clear perspective. Otherwise, we can quickly
let our expectations for the holidays become more important than our
extra requests for treats and toys and stuff they see on TV. Instead of letting
the increase in demands surprise you, keep your expectations realistic and
expect them. It is normal.
clear ahead of time and try to find ways to say “yes” instead of
always saying “no.” (When your kids are continually asking for more sugar,
instead of immediately saying “no”, change your answer to “you
can have more crackers and cheese, or an apple”.) Kids automatically
resent “no”, so, focus on what they can have or can do, instead of what they can’t.
child’s point of view.
excitement and anticipation leading up to this time of year? Our children don’t
understand the stress we might be dealing with preparing. All they know is that
they are really excited.
the holidays from their point of view, it will make it much easier to be
patient with them.
nap times, bed times and meals. The best way to avoid meltdowns is to
keep naps and bedtime regular. When our children get tired there is
be lots of activities and visitors, parties and get-togethers. Schedules will
be challenged. We will have to make some exceptions, but we need to try and
hold strong. We might need to say “no” to a few of the activities and keep some
sort of routine.
our first Christmas’s, I went to put our son down for a nap. One of our
relatives gave me a guilt trip and said, “I am only here for a few days, a nap
is more important than him being with me”? Yep, the nap is most important.
The sleep will keep him happy. Which will make your visit much more pleasant.
quickly loose our patience. We need to take care of ourselves so that we are
better able to take care of our children and handle the demands and excitement
of the season.
with our Children
parties and activities. Give them adequate notice and talk to them about
expectations and behaviors before you get there.
that our children don’t understand. They don’t understand the difference
between needs and wants. They don’t understand how time works (Are we there
yet? Can I open presents yet?). They also don’t understand the difference between
I am really hungry and tired AND, I want to throw myself on the floor and throw
a fit. Talk to them about emotions and help them understand how they are
giving them some freedom to choose, some power over their own lives, will
improve their behavior and your relationship.
“Santa won’t come to our house if you don’t stop crying,” in the long run, will
or your family. Limit adult activities to no more than three a week (at the
most). Leaving kids with a baby sitter every night of the week will cause them
stress. Pick the most important events and say “no” to the rest.
over the holiday breaks. Set aside time to be together. Spending time together
will do wonders for your children’s behavior and build long lasting memories.
with your spouse. Dates help us refuel and reconnect. This will give us more
patience for the season and our children.
with your children. When we get busy with the holidays, our kids might not feel
like they are getting the attention they need, so they act out. Find a way to
spend 15 minutes with each of your children each day and they won’t have the
need to misbehave to get your attention.
you are going to be traveling or even away from the house for more than 3
hours, plan to take breaks. For every 3 hours, take a 20-30 minute break for
your kids to do something fun.
will be lots of last minute preparations to take care of. All these errands can
take their toll on our kids. Consider their schedules and nap times and go easy
experiences together means more and creates stronger, happier memories, than
getting or having “things.”
temper tantrums and meltdowns, worry less about all the stuff, and spend more
holiday season stress you out?
ever gotten the guilt trip from a family member during a holiday visit?