My Thoughts…


*image used with permission from Mique at ThirtyHandmadeDays (if you would like to pin or use this image please do so from ThirtyHandmadeDays)

I have written this post in my mind countless times.  Searching for the perfect words…but the reality is that there are no words that I can find that truly capture how I am feeling.  I don’t share much of my personal life here on The Idea Room.  I try to keep many of my feelings,  trials and struggles (which we all have) behind the scenes.  Not as a way to pretend that they don’t exist, because they do, but I do it because I want The Idea Room to be a place of light.  I want to have a place of happiness and creativity where I can share some of the things that bring me joy with others.  A place of sharing and of giving back.

In light of recent events in our Nation, and all over our world, I struggle with feelings of fear, anger, compassion, confusion, sadness, and empathy.  My heart breaks and mourns for all those affected by these horrible evil acts of violence.  So many questions.  So much political debate and sensationalism in the news.  It is all too much.

I want to remember the sweet and innocent children, their families and their brave and heroic teachers.  I want them to be the ones we focus on.  How can we heal them?  How can we ease their pain?  What do we do as a society to heal us all?  What is our role in this?  What can we do to make a change?

I don’t believe the answer is in more politics or gun control.  An evil person will find a way to carry out their selfish acts.  No one can control someone who is intent on evil.  There has been evil from the beginnings of our history.  The solution in part, I believe, is to increase our forces for good.  We need to be the solution.  We need to be the change.

We need to be kinder.  We need to show more love.  We need to show more compassion.  We need to care more for one another and less for ourselves.  We can only win the war with evil if we are combating it with love and kindness.

One day recently I was taking my bed-ridden friend into a Target to get some much needed pain pills.  She can barely walk or stand for more than a few minutes without being in terrible and excruciating pain.  She and I were walking slowly, with careful and determined steps, across the CROSSWALK in front of Target.  She was leaning on me for support and my 5 year old daughter was clinging onto my other hand as we crossed the road.

A woman in a SUV “slowed down” and was impatiently waiting for us to cross while talking on her cell phone.  Before we had barely cleared the front of her car she gunned her car and raced around us (inches from my daughter) while shouting out her unrolled car window… “If you would stop talking you could cross the street faster!”

I was shocked!  If that woman had taken 30 seconds to survey her surroundings and get off her phone and pay attention to DRIVING…she might have noticed the intense pain written all over my friend’s face  and which she carried throughout her entire body.  In the wake of the recent events, I realize that experience has no comparison.  But, I do feel it is a good measure of our society in general.

I have no doubt that we have all been “this person” at some point.  The truth is, our society is losing our respect for others.  We are all so caught up in our own lives and our own needs, that we need to slow down and pay attention!  Pay attention to OTHER  people.

Be kinder.  Be more understanding.  Be LOVING.  Be compassionate.  Look for the good in others.  Find a way to give back and do more in your community.  Yes, we all have differences.  Different religions, political beliefs, economic status, etc…., but we have so much more in common.  We all have a need to be loved and to be treated with kindness and respect.

And it should start with our families.  Love them.  Spend quality time with them.  ADORE them.  Cherish them.  Be there for them.  If there has been a falling out with a loved one, please try to reach out and make amends with them.  You never know what tomorrow brings.  People and their relationships, not things or schedules, are what matters in the end.

I choose to give back.  I choose to share and be a positive force in my little corner of the universe.  I choose people.  I choose LOVE!

I will remember those who lost their lives.  I will pray for their families.  I will pray for the parents whose aching arms are now empty.  I will also be praying for those children who have special needs and mental challenges.  I will pray for their parents.  I will pray for them to get the help they so desperately deserve and need in our schools and institutions.  I have spent years working with some of these sweet children.  I have dear, dear friends who are raising these amazing children, who love and struggle day in and day out to provide them with what they need.  They need not only our prayers, but support and help too.

And although I believe in the power of prayer, I also believe in action.  We need to do!  We need to be a positive force.  If we want change, we have the be the ones who make the change.  We can not sit back and wait for someone else to do it.  I chose to post today so that I could do something.  I know this is not the direct and immediate answer but it is a start.  It is going to take some serious discussion and change in our nation and the way we are currently doing things, but I believe it is a part that all of us need to do to get us headed in the right direction.

Start in your circle of influence.  Find ways to share and be more loving and kind. Then if you are able to…move beyond that circle.  Be the individual who is making a difference.  Be THE difference this world needs.  I, for one and making a concerted effort today, and from here on out, to DO more and BE more.   Who is with me?



  1. says

    I don’t share many personal thoughts on my blog either, even when I want to.. I have a hard time putting my serious, personal thoughts in writing. Your post was thoughtful and articulate. I know exactly what you’re talking about when you shared the story of walking into Target. This is something I have discussed at length with my family, and a few close friends. I very much agree that we need to think less about ourselves. The “it’s all about me” mentality is slowly eroding our country. Caring about others, their situation, etc.. and taking a moment to think before you speak or react, can make a world of differences in your own day and the lives of others. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post.

  2. says

    i completely agree- in my post on saturday i wrote “And do everything you can to be a positive influence in the lives of all the people you meet and see on a daily basis, because whether you know it or not, you make a difference…. in the smallest moments, just a smile even, you make a difference.” every little action or missed action makes a difference to someone else and we need to do the best we can to make sure we are a positive force in this world. amen!

  3. says

    I am so so so so sad that someone acted like that with the street crossing situation. :(
    I agree – something needs to happen NOW. We need to DO something. I am with you!!!

  4. says

    Beautiful post. I agree that we need to show more love, compassion, patience and understanding. Life does not have to be this hard, people should not have to experience such evil and endure such heartache.
    In this Christmas season, let’s all slow down, look around and find someone we can help, someone we can show love to, a smile, a hug, a word of encouragement. There’s too much pain in this world. It starts with one person, one smile, one hug, let us be the ones to start the change.

  5. Angie says

    YOU ROCK!!!!!! I personally think your “blog” is so appropriate for what needs to happen!!! If every single person took 1 small second to smile (a real deep smile) at a person they met while walking It would help in making the change. You never know what the person you meet is going through. That smile just might redirect their day into something wonderful. About a week and a half ago, I was leaving our local courthouse after picking up my car tabs, when I exited, I met an older gentleman & for some reason I had the biggest smile on my face. That gentleman stopped & said to me “You are way too happy.” My response to him was “It’s a beautiful day & I just felt like smiling.” He said, “nothing wrong with that” & we went on our way. All day long I kept thinking to myself I hope my smile made him think of something good & I had never been told I was way to happy. My intention will be to smile the genuine smile that gives hope & make the world a brighter more loving place to be. Positive attracts positive in every single way.

    Merry Christmas to you & yours. Thank you again for your comments today

  6. says

    Beautifully written. You expressed so well exactly what I have been thinking the past few days. What happened in Newtown was a horrible, senseless tragedy. And I think our entire society is to blame. We do ALL need to be kinder and more gentle with each other. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own problems and lives in general, we often forget everyone is struggling with something. And I definitely think parents, in general, need to get more involved with our kids. They are the future of what our world will become. With them being so bombarded with technology and “grown up” stuff every day through the media, we must remember to teach all those morals and values we want them to have as adults.

  7. says

    You are so right!! It is not about the guns, it is about creating a society where people are not driven to such heinous acts. And I agree with you about the media…the sensationalism is ridiculous!! Half the time, the media outlets are in such a rush to get the “news” out that they’re reporting erroneous information, turning themselves into nothing more than tabloids and promoting copycat displays!

    So, to answer your question…I am with you!!

  8. Nichole says

    I was a student of yours. I graduated with the class of 99. I enjoyed reading your post. I helped me to realize all the POSITIVE you can make of something tragic. We go through these hardships and trials so we can come away better individuals. I think you are coming away stronger and you are bringing many with you. Your blog is amazing and I am proud to have known you and been taught by you. Your class was my favorite my senior year. :)
    Thank you for the reminder to go out and DO something. It was inspiring.

  9. says

    “And although I believe in the power of prayer, I also believe in action. We need to do! We need to be a positive force. If we want change, we have the be the ones who make the change. We can not sit back and wait for someone else to do it. ”


  10. says

    Well maybe if your “friend” wasn’t such a slow walker….people wouldn’t have to stop and yell at her. GEEZ! :) (PS….to people that think I’m awful…it was actually me, so don’t write Amy hate mail)

    This was a beautiful post Amers. And I know that I love that Primary song Kindness begins with me. I’m the only one I can control. But you, my darling, teach me more about kindness daily than you’ll ever know. And that’s the best way for the world to get better. To get out of ourselves, and be kind to another.

    I love you in every way possible.

  11. says

    Such a beautiful, sensible and heartfelt post. I agree with you completely. I am in Sydney. Amongst all the anger and frustration, the grief and desperation, the calls for governments to act, suggestions of the amnesty of weapons, the confusion and anger, we have to realise that at the heart of this is a community and a nation broken. Weapons will always be available to the desperate, to the marginalised, to the victimised, the depressed, the repressed, the abused and the angry. As much as I want guns banned in the US, as they are here, I don’t see that it will solve these problems. Society is sick, it needs to mend itself, we need to care for and fix one another. We have become a world embittered, engulfed by rage, by difference of race and religion, by lack of sympathy and understanding, by hatred and greed. We are a world motivated by money, instant gratification, of rampant consumerism and we have lost our way. The senseless and brutal loss of the lives of these dear little innocent babies is the cruelest fate that could befall a community, a school, a family. It is the worst kind of pain, the worst kind of evil, the worst kind of grief. Nothing can replace the loss of a child. Nothing should. Nothing could. And especially at this time of year, there could be nothing more soul or life destroying. Stockings will remain empty, sacks will be unfilled, presents will lie under the tree unwrapped, not to be opened by the tiny hands of children who were so wickedly, cruelly and violently taken. There is no way to understand, to explain, to justify, to ease the pain. It is a nation’s pain, a world’s pain, it is part of the cancer of society that is eating away at the innocence and beauty that should be allowed to blossom and thrive, but that is blasted into bloody smithereens by the worst of mankind, the worst evil, the worst of everything we have allowed to happen in our world. What is to be done? How do we heal these families? How do we help them? How to we ease their pain? Share their grief? Hold them from afar? Wipe away their tears? Replace the feeling of holding a little child in your arms at night as you read them a story and they drift off to sleep? I don’t know. My heart breaks over and over again. I see their sweet faces, I imagine their parents, siblings, grandparents. Governments will be called on, blamed, urged and rallied to take action, to make change, to retaliate against the evil of the gun wielding devil. But at the heart of this, we need to understand why? What drives people to do this? How do they get to a point where the only feasible option, the only solution, is the senseless slaughter of primary school children ten days before Christmas? What have we done to society, that we have let it come to this? We all need to take responsibility for our world. We all need to make change. We all need to strive to do better, to be better, to reach out, to sympathise, understand and share. This will not be fixed by the actions of one man, this will be fixed by the actions of a world, united in its stand against this kind of brutality and suffering and sadness. So please, make a difference in your life, in your neighbourhood, in your community, your country. Together is the only way to heal, to change, to mend and to stop.

  12. Brigitte Arbez says

    Thank you very much for your post. Every woman with the heart of a mother feels like you.

  13. says

    Nicely put Amy and I think you are perfectly right in asking everyone to start in their own corner of the world. That is how real change needs to begin.

  14. says

    I agree, simple actions to be kind and giving in our daily life. It is about action,our own to do the right thing and it can start with something simple like put the tablet down,or phone and talk.

  15. says

    I really like this post. I just came from a blog that held a thousand word post about this event being the reason that they need to control guns. I do not agree with that at all, although I do like the other blog nonetheless. I completely agree with what you said. People who want to do evil, will find a way.

  16. Mary Beth Schwarz says

    Thanks for your eloquent post to help us deal with this horrible act. We must not ACT kind in the next few days and then forget it; we must BE kind all the time and try to treat others as if they were part of your family or friends.
    The other thing to do is as you say, concentrate on the victims and their lives and also the ones who survived so they get help to deal with these horrors. The media could give one time the name of the shooter and then forget about that person so there is no more way for them to be remembered and glorified forever.
    The first school shooting was in 1927 in Bath Michigan. I had never heard of it, but there was a tremendous loss of life in that one.
    Love and peace to all, Mary Beth

  17. says

    Thanks Amy for your beautiful words and I couldn’t agree more! We all do need to do a little more and be a little kinder and think of others just a little more often!

  18. says

    Thank you for sharing your sweet post. I’m with you 100 percent! I’ve been sick for those who lost sweet innocent children, sisters, spouses, mothers and teachers. I think our society is in a devastating place right now. We need to be kinder, selfless, caring and patient. My motto is ” try to be kinder!”
    I hope something good will come out of this. My prayer is simply this, that we can learn something and try to be kinder especially to those who are struggling. And those dear people in Newtown will be in my thoughts and prayers, that they will find peace.

  19. says

    I used the same quote by Mr. Rogers on my blog the other day too. You’re right, this world needs more kindness… more “helpers”.

    May another tragedy like this never happen again.

  20. Kristin says


    Beautifully put! I agree and will take your challenge. Thanks for posting and being brave enough to share your voice!


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