10 Ways To Show Your Children You Love Them

It’s time once again for Heather Johnson from Family Volley to share some of her amazing Parenting Tips as part of her “Parenting Tips Series” here on The Idea Room. Here’s Heather in her own words.

–Amy

10 ways to show your children you love them

Give your children the ultimate Valentine this year. Here are 10 ways to show your children how much you love them long after the hearts and candy are gone.

Spend time with them.

Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Spending quality one on one time with our children make them feel much more loved than candy hearts and lollipops. This Valentines Day, give your children a real gift, by committing to spend 15 minutes a day with each of them. Your time together should be technology free and uninterrupted. Let your child choose what they want to do. What ever they choose, get involved and be in the moment. Look into their eyes, take note of the way their hair falls on their forehead. Marvel at their laugh and drink in their spirit.

Commit to Family Rituals.

Rituals provide children with predictability, connection, a sense of identity, and give you an opportunity to teach them values. Not to mention, rituals build memories and life long bonds. Work to put meaning into the everyday activities. Do something together every Saturday morning, even if it is yard work. Eat family dinner, go for walks on Sunday afternoons, read stories together every night before bed. Incorporate rituals into your daily lives.

Don’t hold grudges.

It is easy to let the temper tantrums and back talk start to build up. Without even knowing it, we hold the behavior against our children and enter the next situation, already irritated with them. Don’t. Let it go and start fresh each and every minute. And, don’t ever withhold affection as a punishment.

Share yourself with your children.

Can you juggle, make funny faces, do a cartwheel? Show your kids. Let them get to know you. They will LOVE you for it. Let them see you are fun, and normal, and exciting. Tell them stories about growing up. Share yourself with them. It will help you remember who you are too.

Encourage them often.

We can be quick to offer praise when our children do something good. Instead of praise, offer encouragement, wether they do well or not. Give them specific feedback about the effort and skill they demonstrate. Be sure you encourage even when they don’t succeed. Talk about the effort, more than the outcome.

Tell them “I love you” and give them hugs and kisses every day.

No exceptions. And not just at bed time, or when they do something good. Even if it has been one of “those” days. Hug them anyway, love them anyway and tell them you love them. They will thrive on the affection and reassurance. It feels good when people tell us we are loved. It is the same for children. They need to hear it often.

Don’t multitask.

Put everything away. Stop doing the laundry, don’t text on the phone when they are trying to tell you a story, and get down to their level. Really, really listen. You will hear so much more than their words.

Say YES.

Do they want ice cream for breakfast? Once in a while that’s okay. Do they want to play a little longer. That’s okay too. It’s okay to bend the rules every now and again and say YES. Children can easily feel like all we do is say No. Change things up and try to say yes to as much as you can. If you have to say no, rephrase the answer, suggesting what they can do, or can have, instead of what they can’t.

Be at the crossroads.

If possible, be at the crossroads of their day. When they leave for school, when they come home from school, as they come and go between activities. This can’t always be the case for every household. But whenever possible be available during these times. Be available to chat, and encourage your children as you send them out the door. Be a loving and friendly face to receive them when they walk back in the door. Be their cheerleader as they tackle the world. Pompoms optional.

See your children as people, not objects.

Instead of seeing your children as objects or road blocks that get in the way of what you want and need to do, like the dishes, or making a phone call, see them as people. While in the middle of dishes, it is easy to feel like your 5 year old’s request to play Candy Land is a burden. But stop for a minute and look at things from your child’s perspective. She has hopes and dreams and fears just like you do. Our kids don’t understand what it is like to be a mom and/or wife, as well as all the other hats we wear. If you take a minute and look at things from their perspective, your heart will be softened and we will start to really SEE the little/or big person who is standing in front of us.

Give your children the real gift of love, give them more of you! Happy Valentines Day.

 

Have a question or just want to say hello.
heather johnson

Comments

  1. says

    What a really sweet post! It’s effortless to love your child/ren but these tips remind me to pull back and and focus on being completely in the moment with not just my daughter, but my whole family. Thanks Heather :)

  2. says

    Wonderful post! Thanks for this very good read. Telling my kids how much I love them and giving them hugs and kisses is not something that I do very often and I want to change that. Thank you for giving me the inspiration Heather. These tips are really helpful. :)

    • says

      Hi Janet, It is really easy to let days get away from us without giving loves and hugs and kisses. Making a conscious effort takes practice. We can all commit to give me hugs! I think I will see if my hubby will commit to give me more hugs too!:)
      Happy Valentines Day!

  3. Michelle says

    I absolutely look forward to getting your emails. They are full of information and encouragement. Makes me realize that almost 100% of the time I’m succeeding as a mom. It truly is the best job on the planet. I love my kids more than words can say. So thank you for every email! You are awesome!

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  6. says

    A really wonderful post! I love the ice cream for breakfast idea! What a thrill that would have given my children. I can envision the surprise and laughter around the table if I’d had ever agreed to anything like that.

    These things are all so important and I often wished I had more time for these things as I was running out the door to work when my kids were small. I wish I”d have been able to give more time, have more patience, and share more experiences with my own children as they were growing up but as a single mom with 4 kids and no support, I worked long hours and was under a lot of pressure.

    There were however plenty of hugs and I love you’s around our house, we all encouraged one another, and we almost always had dinner together every night right up through the high school years.

    I know that I am not alone.

    My comment is for those moms who read this post and may be in the same position I was in those many years ago and feel like they are falling short of giving enough to their children.

    Even a little of most of these things can be enough. Don’t feel guilty, it’s not productive. Give your kids what you can and what you have time for. Let them know that you love them regularly. A hug only takes 3 seconds and costs nothing.

    Today, I am grateful for 4 wonderful adult children, all with warm, caring hearts and 7 wonderful grandchildren who through I get to make up just a little to my kids for the time I wasn’t able to spend with them. We are a close knit family and there is nothing I enjoy more than spending time with them.

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Trackbacks

  1. [...] And while Valentine’s Day will be over hours from now, we should never stop showing our children that they are special and loved dearly. Here are a mother’s ideas on how we can show love to our children all year long: 10 Ways To Show Your Children You Love Them. [...]

  2. [...] 10 Ways To Show Your Children You Love Them – 1 freebie(s)? [...]

  3. [...] 10 Ways To Show Your Children You Love Them – 1 freebie(s)? [...]

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