Why we need to Play Games With our Kids

It’s time once again for Heather Johnson from Family Volley to share some of her amazing Parenting Tips on How To Play with Our Children as part of her “Parenting Tips Series” here on The Idea Room. Here’s Heather in her own words.

–Amy

games

We have all heard the benefits that come from playing with our children. It is vital to their development and learning. But sometimes, one more round of Candy Land can seem like torture. We are thinking about all the other things we need to get done. We are bored with the games, or maybe we have a hard time letting down our guard and playing make believe. 

The next time you wonder if you can play super heroes one more time, remind yourself of the benefits that will come from playing with your children. (Keep reading for suggestions on how to stay sane while you play.)

Benefits of playing with our children.  

  • Children use play to learn. They make discoveries about the world around them.
  • Play time gives your child a opportunity to develop their imaginations. They can be a superhero, princess, puppy dog or fireman. All in the same day if they want. When our son was young he went through a phase where every week he pretended to be a different animal. We would research all about what the animal ate, where it slept and how it behaved. Once our son felt like he had learned all he could about the animal, he would move on to the next one. This helped develop his imagination (and he learned a lot too.) 
  • Experimenting through play helps our children figure out what they are good at. Finding things we are good at builds confidence and increases our self-esteem. Research shows that kids who play have more confidence in themselves and higher self-esteem. 
  • Play teaches our children to control their emotions
  • Play teaches our children socializing skills. It gives them a chance to share, cooperate, take turns and learn to handle winning and loosing. 
  • Kids who play have better communication and language skills. Talking to dolls, to you and to their superheroes help build these skills. 
  • Kids feel strong when they play. It gives them a chance to accomplish things and they can be heard chanting “Mommy, look what I made”! “Mommy look what I can do”!
  • Kids develop fine motor skills and hand eye coordination when they play. Using crayons blocks and puzzles, as well as dressing dolls and snapping on clothes and capes, help with these skills. 
  • Playing helps our children stay active and healthy
  • Playing teaches our children to solve problems. When the roof wont stay on the fort, they have to problem solve. When they draw pictures and play fireman, it causes them to figure out how to make things work. 
  • Playing with our kids when they are young, develops trust, and opens lines of communication that we need as they get older. 
Above all, playing is fun. Really fun. Instead of worrying about enrolling our children in a million extra curricular activities, give them free time to play. A child’s job is to play. 
 
What about us mom’s? It is very normal to struggle to stay focused when our three year old wants to play kitchen or Chutes and Ladders all. day. long. 
Here are a few suggestions to help. 

 

Kids are “copy cats”. They love to copy us. When you have chores to do, ask them if they want to PLAY WITH YOU. They will want to help. It will slow down your work a little, but it teaches them while you work and builds memories that they will remember forever. Our kids love to dust, they love to spray and wipe things down, and they love to do laundry. We make the chores “play” by shooting hoops with clean socks, and stirring pretend food while making dinner. Not only does this help me feel like I am still getting things done, but it builds positive feelings about work in our children. 
 
Remember what it is was like to be a child. Think about the activity from your child’s perspective. Get down on the floor and play. You will see that as soon as you are willing to fully invest, it actually becomes a lot more fun. With three girls, there is a lot of playing kitchen around this house. I always feel awkward at first, spooning pretend food into my mouth and asking for orders from the dolls and stuffed animals. But as soon as I think about what the experience is like for our daughters, and see things from a child’s point of view, it changes everything. I start to get inspired, more creative, and make the experience more fun for them. 
 
We also have to let down our guard. Playing like a child can make us feel silly. I remember when our son was going through his animal phases, he would want me to play along. I fought it for so long because I felt really silly. One day we were at the store and he was talking to me in “dog talk.” He wanted me to talk back to him the same way. I felt a bit embarrassed by what others around us might be thinking. Then it hit me, who is more important, my son, or the strangers in line behind us? The answer was an obvious one and I let out a little bark for him as I let down my guard and started to play along. As we were leaving the store, an older lady tapped me on the back. “He will never forget that”, she said. I learned a good lesson that day. It is okay to play. That is part of my job as a mom.

Play hard but not necessarily long. Giving your child all you have in short spurts is better for you and for your child, instead of pretending for hours that you are interested in the game. Our kids know when we are faking it so it is more important to be in the moment. When you need to move on, it is okay. It will mean more to them to know you are fully invested, and you will feel better about the time you have spend together also.

Don’t multitask/ turn off technology. We have all tried to do this, multitask while we are playing with our children. Or check our email and text messages while we are playing.Trying to multitask becomes a distraction and means we aren’t giving anything our full attention. Put the phones and computers away and play, really play with your child. 



Watch your attitude.  We need to have a good attitude about playing with our children. WE LOVE THEM. We want them to be happy. We want them to learn and grow and develop. In stead of thinking of ourselves and enduring the experience, think about your child and it will be a lot easier to bark like a dog with them.  



If it is hard for you to follow your child’s lead, then you choose the activity. Most of the time, kid don’t care what they play, they just want to play with us. Pick something you like to do and do it together. I love to color. It is one of my most favorite things to do. When we are on our third round of “Don’t Break the Ice”, and I am wearing thin of the activity,  I suggest we color. They are always excited and I am too.  

 

Parallel play can be okay (in moderation). Playing with your child doesn’t always mean you have to be doing the same thing. They can color or look at books while you do something you need to do. Usually our children just want to be around us so they are not alone. 
 
As parents, it is our job to facilitate play for our children and make sure it is a part of their lives. We can do this by changing our attitude and seeing things from their perspective. We will quickly feel rejuvenated when we really invest our soul in to playing with our kids. 

 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS?

 

DOES PLAYING EVER MAKE YOU CRAZY?

Have a question or just want to say hello.



Comments

  1. 1

    We have a ton of board games that we love to play with our kids (who have never played Candyland, Chutes & Ladders, or those other annoying games). We use European board games, which encourage strategy and critical thinking and often level the playing field for adults and kids so that they’re actually fun for the grownups involved. Some of our favorites are Carcassonne for Kids, Chicken Cha Cha Cha, Gulo Gulo, and Animal Upon Animal.

    • 2

      Hi Gina, Thank you for your comment. We are ALWAYS looking for new games to play as a family. What great suggestions! I have never heard of Chicken Cha Cha Cha or Gulo Gulo, but I am off to check them out now. Have a great weekend!

  2. 3

    We always have Friday game night where we played any and all games my two girls wanted. We made it a fun family night. My girls favorite games were Sorry, Yaztee, Candy Land and Monopoly Jr. Santa always gave us a new game every year for Christmas. We still play games when we can (Oldest daughter is a college freshman and other daughter is a sophomore in high school). Our favorite games now are Phase 10, Monopoly (the card game which was a gift from Santa this year and is super fun!), apples to apples, spoons and dominos. Both my husband and I grew up playing games. It is some of the best times!! Just laughing and having fun!!

  3. 4

    Everything you said here is so true! I don’t understand how some adults don’t play with their children..it’s just cruel and neglectful in my opinion. Great article :)

  4. 5

    Thanks for sharing, this is something I have been struggling with. My 3 year old wants to play Barbies with me all day long. I need to devote a smaller amount of time, but be focused only on playing with her and not cleaning up her room as we play. Also, attitude is everything! Thanks for the reminder that I need to look at it from her perspective. Very good tips of things to keep me balanced in this department. Thanks!

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