We have all heard the benefits that come from playing with our children. It is vital to their development and learning. But sometimes, one more round of Candy Land can seem like torture. We are thinking about all the other things we need to get done. We are bored with the games, or maybe we have a hard time letting down our guard and playing make believe. 

The next time you wonder if you can play super heroes one more time, remind yourself of the benefits that will come from playing with your children. (Keep reading for suggestions on how to stay sane while you play.)

Benefits of playing with our children.  

• Children use play to learn. They make discoveries about the world around them.
• Play time gives your child a opportunity to develop their imaginations. They can be a superhero, princess, puppy dog or fireman. All in the same day if they want. When our son was young he went through a phase where every week he pretended to be a different animal. We would research all about what the animal ate, where it slept and how it behaved. Once our son felt like he had learned all he could about the animal, he would move on to the next one. This helped develop his imagination (and he learned a lot too.) 
• Experimenting through play helps our children figure out what they are good at. Finding things we are good at builds confidence and increases our self-esteem. Research shows that kids who play have more confidence in themselves and higher self-esteem. 
• Play teaches our children to control their emotions. 
• Play teaches our children socializing skills. It gives them a chance to share, cooperate, take turns and learn to handle winning and loosing. 
• Kids who play have better communication and language skills. Talking to dolls, to you and to their superheroes help build these skills. 
• Kids feel strong when they play. It gives them a chance to accomplish things and they can be heard chanting “Mommy, look what I made”! “Mommy look what I can do”!
• Kids develop fine motor skills and hand eye coordination when they play. Using crayons blocks and puzzles, as well as dressing dolls and snapping on clothes and capes, help with these skills. 
• Playing helps our children stay active and healthy. 
• Playing teaches our children to solve problems. When the roof wont stay on the fort, they have to problem solve. When they draw pictures and play fireman, it causes them to figure out how to make things work. 
• Playing with our kids when they are young, develops trust, and opens lines of communication that we need as they get older. 

Play hard but not necessarily long. Giving your child all you have in short spurts is better for you and for your child, instead of pretending for hours that you are interested in the game. Our kids know when we are faking it so it is more important to be in the moment. When you need to move on, it is okay. It will mean more to them to know you are fully invested, and you will feel better about the time you have spend together also.

Watch your attitude.  We need to have a good attitude about playing with our children. WE LOVE THEM. We want them to be happy. We want them to learn and grow and develop. In stead of thinking of ourselves and enduring the experience, think about your child and it will be a lot easier to bark like a dog with them.  

If it is hard for you to follow your child’s lead, then you choose the activity. Most of the time, kid don’t care what they play, they just want to play with us. Pick something you like to do and do it together. I love to color. It is one of my most favorite things to do. When we are on our third round of “Don’t Break the Ice”, and I am wearing thin of the activity,  I suggest we color. They are always excited and I am too.  

Give your children the ultimate Valentine this year. Here are 10 ways to show your children how much you love them long after the hearts and candy are gone.

Spend time with them.

Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Spending quality one on one time with our children make them feel much more loved than candy hearts and lollipops. This Valentines Day, give your children a real gift, by committing to spend 15 minutes a day with each of them. Your time together should be technology free and uninterrupted. Let your child choose what they want to do. What ever they choose, get involved and be in the moment. Look into their eyes, take note of the way their hair falls on their forehead. Marvel at their laugh and drink in their spirit.

Commit to Family Rituals.

Rituals provide children with predictability, connection, a sense of identity, and give you an opportunity to teach them values. Not to mention, rituals build memories and life long bonds. Work to put meaning into the everyday activities. Do something together every Saturday morning, even if it is yard work. Eat family dinner, go for walks on Sunday afternoons, read stories together every night before bed. Incorporate rituals into your daily lives.

Don’t hold grudges.

It is easy to let the temper tantrums and back talk start to build up. Without even knowing it, we hold the behavior against our children and enter the next situation, already irritated with them. Don’t. Let it go and start fresh each and every minute. And, don’t ever withhold affection as a punishment.

Share yourself with your children.

Can you juggle, make funny faces, do a cartwheel? Show your kids. Let them get to know you. They will LOVE you for it. Let them see you are fun, and normal, and exciting. Tell them stories about growing up. Share yourself with them. It will help you remember who you are too.

Encourage them often.

We can be quick to offer praise when our children do something good. Instead of praise, offer encouragement, wether they do well or not. Give them specific feedback about the effort and skill they demonstrate. Be sure you encourage even when they don’t succeed. Talk about the effort, more than the outcome.

Tell them “I love you” and give them hugs and kisses every day.

No exceptions. And not just at bed time, or when they do something good. Even if it has been one of “those” days. Hug them anyway, love them anyway and tell them you love them. They will thrive on the affection and reassurance. It feels good when people tell us we are loved. It is the same for children. They need to hear it often.

Don’t multitask.

Put everything away. Stop doing the laundry, don’t text on the phone when they are trying to tell you a story, and get down to their level. Really, really listen. You will hear so much more than their words.

Say YES.

Do they want ice cream for breakfast? Once in a while that’s okay. Do they want to play a little longer. That’s okay too. It’s okay to bend the rules every now and again and say YES. Children can easily feel like all we do is say No. Change things up and try to say yes to as much as you can. If you have to say no, rephrase the answer, suggesting what they can do, or can have, instead of what they can’t.

Be at the crossroads.

If possible, be at the crossroads of their day. When they leave for school, when they come home from school, as they come and go between activities. This can’t always be the case for every household. But whenever possible be available during these times. Be available to chat, and encourage your children as you send them out the door. Be a loving and friendly face to receive them when they walk back in the door. Be their cheerleader as they tackle the world. Pompoms optional.

See your children as people, not objects.

Instead of seeing your children as objects or road blocks that get in the way of what you want and need to do, like the dishes, or making a phone call, see them as people. While in the middle of dishes, it is easy to feel like your 5 year old’s request to play Candy Land is a burden. But stop for a minute and look at things from your child’s perspective. She has hopes and dreams and fears just like you do. Our kids don’t understand what it is like to be a mom and/or wife, as well as all the other hats we wear. If you take a minute and look at things from their perspective, your heart will be softened and we will start to really SEE the little/or big person who is standing in front of us.

Give your children the real gift of love, give them more of you! Happy Valentines Day.

Have a question or just want to say hello.