With five kids, it can sometimes be difficult to give each child a lot of one-on-one attention. My husband decided a few years ago that we needed to take the kids on their own “date night”. Sometimes my husband and I both go out with one child or sometimes he or I will take a child or two out by ourself. The kids love it and really look forward to when it is their turn. They get to choose what we do most of the time (within reason of course).
So in October, it was my turn to take out the girls. I had taken some pictures of my friend’s family who happens to own a sweet little Bed and Breakfast. I know…pretty awesome huh? Well, she suprised me with a free night stay for a weeknight in October. The kids just happened to have one Friday off of school, so I decided to take the girls on a suprise overnighter one Thursday evening!
We went out to dinner and then drove to a store to get some snacks. When we arrived at the Bed & Breakfast the girls were confused. After parking, I pulled out their pillows and a bag I secretly packed, they understood what was happening. After the initial excitement, we checked in, jumped on the bed (gently of course) and then took a bubble bath in our swim suits overlooking the city lights. The tub was at the top of a spiral staircase in the hotel’s highest turret. Then after painting our toenails and getting into our jammies, we watched Hannah Montanna while laying in bed and eating our snacks. After the movie and the talking, giggles and story-telling, we tried to settle down and get some sleep. In the morning we ate breakfast and then headed home so that my husband, who was watching the other kids, could get in to work.
Now, this date was not definitely not our usual fashion. Some have been very inexpensive like going out for an icecream cone and then playing video games or playing catch in the backyard. The most important thing is that we spend our time and all of our focus with that child and hopefully make some great memories.
Maybe this is something you will want to incorporate with your children. Or maybe you are already doing something similar at your house. So my question for you, so that we can share ideas that may work for others is…What do you do to show your child/children that they are important to you?
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Anonymous says
Your blog is by far one of my favorites. How in the heck do you do what you do with five kids – I have ONE and seem like it's a challenge to shower daily.
I think the date night is so sweet. If we have more children in the future – it is absolutely something we will do. I was an only child, so one on one time wasn't hard to come by but I remember my mom taking me away to a resort for a weekend the summer I turned 13 – just the two of us. It was a really special time and I can't wait to do the same with my daughter.
Please – keep the tutorials coming – they are fabulous!
What a great idea. That must help them feel so special.
What a great post … that is a wonderful gift of "time" that you give your children! We only have one kiddo right now but if we have more … we'll follow your example!
What special memories for you and your kids. I think your idea is fabulous. Have a blessed day!!
A brilliant idea. This is something we try to do too. With 6 children here one to one time is very precious! You have reminded me to make this more of a priority this year!
What a fun idea!!!!
I have two kiddos 6(on the 16th) and an almost 2 year old. We haven't done this yet but my husband and I decided to have special kid days. I will give each one choices on what to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and the choice of 3 different fun things zoo, park, etc. Then a couple of weeks later, before they awake I will make a sign saying it's _____________ special day. I will also decorate with balloons and make out a menu and what will be done for the day.
This is a wonderful idea! We do this from time to time but need to formalize it a little more. Our kids thrive on one-on-one attention.
I love it! We try to do similar things. I am a non-custodial mother, my children live with their father, so I don't get to see them as often as I would like. When they are home, my husband and I try to each have one on one time with both of the children. My daughter loves to go to the barn with my husband and feed and stuff. My son likes to go to work with him and learn all the stuff he does. With me, I take time each time they are here to let them pick something out of the cookbook and make it themselves. I think that everyone should know how to read a recipe and cook for themselves and it gives us something fun to do together.
We have 4 children with a fifth on the way, and parent/kid dates are something we've done since our kids were small. They all look forward to it so much that I couldn't imagine not doing it with them. And for us its sometimes just a quick stop at Starbucks for a cookie and a hot chocolate. It's definitely time well spent.
We do this, but do it a little differently. We call it "special night". Because my husband was in medical school and residency for so many years and funds were tight, we decided to make it something that didn't cost any money. We have 4 kids and they each have a night assigned to them – Ethan on Monday, Hannah on Tuesday, Levi on Wednesday, and Benjamin on Thursday (Friday is my night!). They get to stay up about a half hour to an hour past their bedtime and they get to pick the activity (board game, video game, reading, playing with toys, building Legos, watching part of a movie, etc.). My husband is the one that usually does this with them since he doesn't spend as much time with them throughout the day. It's a good time for me to have some alone time, which I greatly need by the end of the day! The kids love it and look forward to it each week. The kids don't seem to mind that they aren't going out somewhere. I think it's more about the quality time spent together, not so much about the activity. I love the idea of an overnighter with my daughter somewhere. She would LOVE it. However, we kind of do it already when my husband and all the boys go on their father and son's camp out. She and I rent girly movies and paint our finger and toe nails, or we'll make crafts together. I try to make the time special for her, too. By the way, I love your blog! Thanks for all the wonderful ideas!!
That's such a great idea! We spend so much time thinking about adult date nights that we totally overlook the fact that the kids might need one, too! When we have kids, I'll incorporate something like this into our routine :)
Amy….my dad did this with us as kids and we loved it! I still remember coming home from school one day (5th grade I think) and he had tickets to the Whitney Houston/Tina Turner concert. It was very cool and I loved everything about it (except maybe trying to rock out to the music with my dad!).
And the mansion…..LOVE! I remember when they first opened it up and my mom and I had the place all to ourselves for a night. Simply magical! I love it there. Speaking of…I have have the fabulous recipe for the baked french toast they served for breakfast (not sure if they still do).
As for me….still trying to implement this idea with my own kiddos. I wish I was as "on the ball" as you!
My parents used to do this with us when we were younger and I loved it! It is fun and important to spend that one-on-one time together.
I've always loved that idea of "dating" your child. Happy to see there are parents who practice it. All kids need some one-on-one time.
We have done this on occassion also. We only have 2 kids so it is certainly much easier to give them each their own time. We have taken them out for dinner and a movie, but what I find seems to mean the most to them is each and every night we lay by them in bed and either read or just simply talk before bedtime. Another great we interact with each child personally is during dinner, go around the table and have each child and adult tell 3 great things about their day.Our kids love it and it's a great way to get them to open up and talk about their day and themselves.You would be amazed how much they open up… so much better than the typical.. what did you do today… I dunno nothing response! LOL
Becky
I love this idea and i am going to steal it for our next outing!!!
What a great idea. I think I'm going to have plan a "special" time with my kids and especially now that my little girl is going into her preteen years. Give us more time to bond.
We do the same thing… with 6 kids we plan their days on their birthdate in an attempt to schedule them each month. IE Sam's birthday is Feb. 14th so the 14th of every month is her special day. Love all your ideas, thanks for sharing.
I can't even tell you how much I love this, we are still trying to get this established in our home – a little bit here and there – it's a great thing to do!
I have twins (actually today is their birthday) and they are very close we tried to have a special day this one at a time but they do not like it! So my husband and I came up with the idea of each family member would write down a couple of things they would like to do (like going to the movies, cooking, board game, craft, outdoor activities, out to eat, etc) and we put them in a jar that the kids had decorated, each week one of us will pick a slip and that's the thing we do for family day.
The kids love to do this, their favorite thing to do is to cook and board games.
I love the Overnight at a Bed and Breakfast idea! I am definitely going to have to do that with my girls. They would love it! We try to have regular dates with our 4 kids, lately I have been taking them out to lunch or breakfast. They love telling their class where their mom is taking them for lunch and they get a little longer lunch. It has been working well. Thanks for all your great ideas!
I was just thinking you should ask your friend if she minds you saying the name of the bed and breakfast. It may be a good free advertisement for her for doing something so nice for you by giving you a free night there.
Wow! Even though I don't have a free night I think I might have to splurge on something like this to do with my 11 yr. old daughter. Our relationship has been a bit stressful right now with a few new behaviors and I would LOVE to do something fun and away from home with her!
This is a great idea. I taught 2nd grade for five years and I kept a journal of all the ideas I learned about parenting {good and bad.}This is one of the ideas I journaled about. The family that I got the idea from had 4 boys at the time. The parents were so busy and now they have 6 boys! I can't imagine….but anyway the parent told me this was their best advice because of what you will learn from them and gives every child their "moment" with mom and dad that they will cherish forever.
I read to the kids every night. We do it together without fail. It's 6:30 at this very moment my daughter has already started asking me to read.
We are lucky in that our 3 (so far) kids and us all have birthdays on different days of the month. So, my hubby is the 2nd, I'm the 11th, and our kids are the 13th, 20th, and 29th. Each month, I do something special for each person on their day. It might be painting my daughter's nails and having a mini-spa day with her on the 29th, or taking my older son bowling on the 20th. It's similar to your date times with your kids, but I like the chance to know that that particular day is always special for that person! (And yes, on the 11th, I get extra craft time, an uninterrupted bubble bath, or a nap for myself!)
I don't have any kids yet, but we would have daddy-daughter dates and do things like go on bike rides, go for ice cream, go to the beach for an afternoon, or make dinner for mom. So many wonderful memories getting to spend extra time with him since he worked a lot and was gone most of the time during the week.
I love your idea and the other ideas in the comments! I have one child, another on the way, and will talk to my husband about starting a tradition like this.
When I was growing up – oldest of five kids – my dad took someone to breakfast every Saturday morning. He rotated through the kids – and my mom, too – so every 6 weeks we'd get our turn to go out to breakfast with dad. I loved that time with him!
When i was in high school my mother and i would go to chinese food and we would stay about an hour and a half just talking. My sister did not like Chinese food. It was the only time i got to spend with my mother alone, one on one….
I have a lot of kids and I love the little dates. I even have found cold stone coupons , chipotle has a kid’s meal and starbucks apple cider in the WInter. With so many kids these r so important. I love your blog I put it on my roll in fear that I would loose it !
My Dad used to take my brother or me on Saturday morning errands then we would have lunch out. I LOVED those Saturdays. I took my (now grown daughter) to Las Vegas for a weekend a couple of years ago to see some shows and shop. We have family there so we got to stay with them and visit. It was such fun. We have to do it in the summers as she is a teacher. Boy, was it hot! Fortunately, my son had a pool, what wonderful memories we made that weekend.