Perseverance means “having the self-discipline to continue a task in spite of being confronted with difficulties.” It is a skill we all need and that as parents, we need to help our children develop.
Research shows us that childhood is a prime age to start introducing our children to goal setting in order to help them to learn to persevere. Given that we are starting a new year, and resolutions are all around us, what a great time to help our children jump on board also! Heather here from FamilyVolley.com with some suggestions for helping your children learn perseverance through setting goals.
Help them understand.
One of the best ways to start this process is to look for ways
that your child already uses goal-setting techniques. Remember, this is a new
concept for most children, so using examples that they can relate to will be a
big help. If you notice that your son has managed to save up his money to buy a
toy or video game, or worked to get a good grade, for example, discuss what they did to get what they wanted. Be sure you discuss the effort energy and skill they put forth and teach how these techniques could be used in other challenges.
that your child already uses goal-setting techniques. Remember, this is a new
concept for most children, so using examples that they can relate to will be a
big help. If you notice that your son has managed to save up his money to buy a
toy or video game, or worked to get a good grade, for example, discuss what they did to get what they wanted. Be sure you discuss the effort energy and skill they put forth and teach how these techniques could be used in other challenges.
Easy vs. Difficult.
Have your children make a list of the things that are easy for them to do, and hard for them to do and then talk about strengths and weaknesses (we all have them). Successful people are always working on their weaknesses though, so as you set goals, have them choose at least one thing off the “difficult” side of the list.
Start Small and Fun.
Help your child think of a small and fun goal he/she could achieve within a
short time. Little goals help kids move to bigger goals and feeling the success will give them confidence.
short time. Little goals help kids move to bigger goals and feeling the success will give them confidence.
Let Them Choose.
We know exactly what we think our kids should be working on, but we need to let them decide for themselves. Then we can step in and help them make a plan of action. Be aware that some goals will take a lot of our help and effort. Our son decided he wanted to swim, which meant that to support him I had to drive him to the pool at 6 am every morning! We have to buy in also. Letting them choose will create ownership and they will be more likely to work hard at that goal and persevere until it is met.
Listen for the “I wish…”
If your child says “I wish I could learn to play golf” use that as an opportunity to help them figure out a plan to learn. “I wish I could do better in math…” “I wish I knew how to play soccer…” These statements can all be clues as to where goals could be set.
Include them in our goals.
As adults we have a lot more experience in persevering to accomplish our goals. We can help our children learn the skills by including them in our goals and letting them watch us go through the process. Involving our children is a powerful way to teach them, spend time together, and strengthen our relationship with them.
Be “real”.
Goals are tough, and sticking with them is tough too! It is important that we are realistic with our children as we help them learn. Telling them that everything is easy is misleading. Talk about the challenges so they aren’t so surprising and then come up with a plan to stay dedicated. Be real but don’t scare them.
Celebrate success.
Be sure you tell your child they are doing well, when they do well. Praise the energy, effort and skill that they are putting forth. And always look to praise instead of punish. Point out the good, even when they are struggling to succeed, find something good.
Praise, and positive words will ALWAYS be more motivating than
the contrary.
the contrary.
Have your children set goals for the new year? Share them with us!
Have a question, or just want to say hello? You can find me at FamilyVolley.com. On Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Or send me an email. I love making new friends!
And don’t miss my weekly podcast, “THE LIVING ROOM”. We have a seat saved for you! CLICK HERE to LISTEN.
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